Is It Just Me?

Is it just me or is life markedly more difficult to navigate right now? I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to create something new...a blog post, a poem, an e-mail, a simple thank you note...only for my desires to be squelched by whatever is going on in the world or even in my tiny corner of it. Whether it's the gravity of war or the bittersweet memories that puncture my heart every February, I've been brought to my knees. Always praying, but today I'm able to crawl forward a bit.

Is it just me or are you also afraid to be yourself these days because the world is now telling you in so many new words that today, you are not as acceptable as you were yesterday? If you know me personally, you know I love everyone...even the people who are difficult to love. I choose to love them because they need love even more. But the more I read and hear out loud, it seems "love and prayers" are not enough anymore.

Since when? I wouldn't be here without another human being(s)' love and prayers. It was love and prayers that got me through the deaths of my parents. It was love and prayers that got me through a divorce, breast cancer and other personal losses. It was also love and prayers that brought me to love again, that gave me the confidence to write and publish a book, and realize even the smallest victories. Love and prayers make me resilient. Love and prayers keep me crawling forward.

As someone who needs to express themselves regularly, whether it's on the printed page or in a Facebook post, I'm increasingly editing myself because I'm afraid that my good intentions will be misread. (If this blog post gets published without multiple edits, I'll be surprised.) Here's an example: If I refer to someone as "she" and I don't personally know that this person has chosen to not identify with either gender, these days I'm publicly shamed for using the wrong pronoun or I'm lumped in with a group of people who are not progressive enough. An innocent mistake on my part perhaps, but suddenly there are new rules and I broke one. Here's another example: If I wish you Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas, I'm ridiculed because I didn't say Merry Christmas. Really? Yes, really.

When did needing to know someone's personal preferences become more important than the good intentions with which the original comment or wish was made?

Is it just me or do many people think if only someone else was in charge, we wouldn't be experiencing so much strife? Whether it's rising gas prices, global warming or the possibility of a nuclear war...what good is it placing blame on one person or one political party or "New Age thought" for that matter? Do we not see how naming and blaming just adds fuel to the proverbial fire?

Do we not see that we share the same Sun, Moon and stars?

Belittling others, shaming others, hating others is not helpful. Period. If you want to be helpful, then help somebody...anybody...everybody. If you want to donate to help those suffering in Europe right now, do it. Every little bit counts. If you want to help people that are suffering here, do that. This world needs our help...every corner of it.

Everything matters...whether you give money, time or yes, just your love and prayers, it all matters. YOU matter, I matter. We matter together. No need to stick a label on it...that only keeps us further apart.

Please...please...please...choose to do something nice for someone today...say thank you, offer a compliment, pay for someone else's coffee. These aren't new ideas, but they are still good ideas. If you want peace on Earth, then BE that peace you so desire.

Peace and Love to you all,

Diane

Ending the year on a lighter note...

This year has been quite heavy and serious for so many of us; therefore. I've chosen to lighten my load during this week in-between holidays. Allow me to share a few giggles with you. Introducing The Stink Bug Chronicles. Only two installments exist as of this writing, but if I know the elusive stink bug as I believe I do, he'll be back (said in my very worst Arnold Schwarzenegger voice.) Enjoy! And Happy New Year!

The Stink Bug Chronicles, Part I

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

It's Tuesday night and Bob is in Etna at an appointment. Of course, just as I sat down to dinner, I heard the loudest buzzing. Sure enough, I was under attack. A legion of kamikaze stink bugs...okay, it was just one...started to dive bomb my kitchen. No warning, just diving and buzzing and landing near me. No one heard my screams.

I grabbed my plate of leftover Chinese food with the addition of freshly sautéed zucchini tonight and my glass of water and escaped through the dining room and into the bedroom. I sat on the bed and finished eating...quietly...keeping my ears and eyes open for buzzing and bombing. What a bundle of nerves! Did I really believe that one little stink bug was going to hunt me down like a missile finds its target? Did I really think it could get into the bedroom...through a crack, maybe under the door?

After awhile, I felt silly and mustered up the courage to go back into the kitchen. I hadn't put away any food nor had I washed any dishes. All was quiet and I relaxed enough to refill my water glass. And that's when I saw him...crawling on the ridge between our double sink. Chameleon-like, he practically disappeared into the gray of the stainless steel. Our eyes met and I heard the theme song from the Marlboro Man or some recognizable tune from an old western when two cowboys were ready to have shoot out.

We stood there like statues for the longest time. Me, with my paper towel at the ready. Him, defenseless. Or so he appeared. The longer we stood there, I felt my courage dissolve and I ran back to the bedroom with my 'fraidy cat tail between my legs.

Bob just called. He is on his way home, thank God. If we are an army, he is the best soldier for Operation Stink Bug. I relayed the intel and the gauntlet drops at 22:00 hours.

The Stink Bug Chronicles, Part II

Tuesday, December 28, 2021

10:00AM - At this writing, there is a stink bug precariously perched on the beautifully coiled cord of the lamp on my bathroom vanity. The bathroom door is closed and I am safe…for now. Stink bugs freak me out, truth be told. They look like prehistoric predators and I’ve come to believe that their sole purpose is to instill catastrophic, apocalyptic fear in my brain. I have no problem waiting until my husband comes home for lunch so he can retrieve and dispose of said stink bug.

I can hear you judging me…it’s just a stink bug…they don’t bite…what’s the big deal? Well, if I try to pick it up with a tissue, I know I will crush it and I don’t want to smell that stench. A few years ago, my friend discovered a few stink bugs living in her hair dryer and well…ewww, but that’s a story for a sci-fi writer, not me. But listen, that’s not my real fear.

What if I attempt to pick him up and I miss? And he flies about my head possibly (probably) landing on me and then my instincts take over and I wave my arms furiously thereby knocking the lamp onto the ceramic tile floor shattering two light bulbs while in my bare feet? And even worse, what if the enemy escapes and I decide to not go into my bathroom for days? I quickly remind myself that we do have another full bath with shower. Ha! I’m feeling smug now.

Only minutes later, I realize that I need to dry my hair that’s been done up turban-style in the Myrtle Beach towel. I could let it air dry, but I’m getting over a cold and my mother always said to not walk around with wet hair…you’ll catch cold. So, in order to stave off a longer sickness, I summon the courage to open the bathroom door. I quickly scan the walls and ceiling. He’s. Not. There. Gulp! Without looking I pull out the second drawer of my vanity and grab my hair dryer, comb and round brush slamming the drawer shut and managing not to hurt myself as I pull the bathroom door closed in one fell swoop. Adding “ninja” to my skill set.

I breathe. Okay. And now I realize that the hair products I use to style my wet hair are in the cabinet above the toilet in the same bathroom where the stink bug now resides. F@%^#*K!!!

Now I’m really mad. Mostly at myself for allowing an otherwise benign creature about as big as my thumbnail to control my Monday morning. The stink bug has interrupted the envisioned rapture of my chosen vacation day like a spoiler alert you didn’t mean to read. First, I fantasize about bravely walking into the bathroom, spying the winged invader passionately crawling towards the spigot and dousing him with half a can of Aqua Net rendering him lifeless. Then, reality bites and I start thinking about it crawling all over my things, perhaps hiding in plain sight so that when my husband comes home, he’ll tell me he can’t find it and then the real anxiety will set in. I’m obsessed and not in a good way.

Okay, I’m going to go dry my hair now sans mousse and thermal spray. I can deal with having an actual bad hair day more than I can live with a stink bug in my midst.

Let’s pause here for intermission.

11:55AM - Bob arrives home early for lunch. Perhaps he sensed my distress…or maybe he was just hungry. I quickly usher him to the bathroom where the perp is locked inside. My husband charges through the doorway while I remain somewhat safe in the hall, my hand on the door knob ready to pull it shut should the stink bug try to escape.

Of course, the stink bug is an elusive little devil. I showed Bob where he was last seen, snug as a bug in the coiled lamp cord. But he wasn’t there now. Not a trace of him…not on the lamp shade…nor the back of the door…not on the walls…but, what’s that on the floor? With paper towel in hand, Bob picked up the unwelcome intruder and whisked him off to stink bug prison…well, actually he’s in the kitchen trash…with something heavy on top of him so that in case he’s not dead yet, he’ll never escape. Unless of course he’s the Houdini of stink bugs in which case I’ll expect him to reappear at yet another inopportune time.

Until next year...

Let's Make It "Small Business Everyday"

What seems like a lifetime ago, I was proud to manage my family's fine jewelry store. We were still alive and kicking when Small Business Saturday was implemented in 2010 for holiday shoppers to give support to their local retailers as a counterbalance to Black Friday. I loved this idea...still do...and in fact, even though I visited family out of town over the Thanksgiving holiday weekend, I did "shop small" this past Saturday and felt good about it.

Last week, I was reminded of a social media post I shared 10 years ago. which went something like "Long before there was even a need for an Occupy Wall Street movement, there were mom and pop stores in every town across America. While the challenge to stay alive is a reality for most of us independent retailers, why wait until Small Business Saturday to patronize your local merchants. Start a new Black Friday tradition right now!"

I must confess, I'm as guilty as anyone else ordering something from a big box retailer online before even considering whether or not the item might be available locally. I love the convenience and more often than not, the item is less expensive than if I searched for it elsewhere. But lately, I've started thinking differently about shopping in general. I'm remembering how my dad felt when customers started buying jewelry elsewhere...first at big discount retailers, then on television home shopping networks and ultimately from various websites. These practices made it difficult to stay in business, yet he persevered because he believed in the products he sold and knew his best customers would still buy from him. But not every small town retailer can stay afloat in these uncertain times, and if my dad were still alive, I'm pretty sure that he would not be happy with the way we shop today.

While I may no longer operate a retail store, I am now a self-published author with a book to sell. And I am grateful that it is easy to go online and purchase my book from Barnes and Noble or Amazon. But today is Cyber Monday and I have one more suggestion for those of you who love to buy books online. If you go to IndieBound.org, you can enter your zip code to get a list of independent bookstores within a 100 mile radius. You can even search for books on their site and purchase them through BookShop.org who supports the independent book sellers of this world. I searched for my book, Written in the Stars: Poems and Pictures and found it on BookShop.org at a discount price!

Soon I hope to be able to sell my book in independent bookstores and other local gift shops, but in the meantime, shopping via sites like IndieBound.org and BookShop.org will still support independent book sellers. And whether we are shopping now for holiday gifts or at any time of the year, I strongly suggest we adopt the mindset of Small Business Everyday and support our local merchants.